Finally, hell week is over. This past week has been the busiest, most exhausting and emotionally challenging five weekdays I've ever had. Thank God it's Friday and that it's over.

Aside from deadlines at work, I was heavily involved in two major company activities. The first big shindig was last Tuesday's Awards night, which is an annual event organized by our department, Human Resources Organizational Development. Although it was a formal evening event, it took a whole work day away from me since we had to be at the venue from the morning onwards. I had to put some office work on hold and push deadlines back in order to accomodate this major event's schedule. During the event, we had to be on our toes as well, so BUSY was an understatement.

Bayanihan Day was another huge yearly company acitivity where groups of employees from each of the four main compounds perform to win a grand prize. This event took so much more of our time since we had to rehearse during work hours and even late into the night. It pretty much seemed like bootcamp for us newbies; we felt REQUIRED to perform as a form of initiation into the company, but it was all done in good fun.  We weren't really required, but we didn't want to appear like spoil sports by not getting involved.

It was an eventful week indeed, especially for a new employee like me. At the awards night, I rubbed elbows not just with Management, but with the creme de la creme of the company. It was an honor for me to mingle with the VIPs and equally fun to see the company's top performers grace the event looking their best. We organizers got to glam it up as well.

At the Bayanihan celebration, I got to bond with my colleagues from different offices. It also immersed me into the company's culture and familiarized me with the values the organization holds dear: team work, healthy competition, striving for success and enjoying life at the same time.

Suffice it to say, I've gained a lot from these "firsts" experiences in the company. I may be busier than I've ever been and the challenges I face may initially seem daunting, but I feel I'm in a good place. God put me here and I'm more than thankful for it.

I've never spent so much time on the road. 9 hours on the way to Baguio two days ago and a total of 12 hours to and from Vigan.

Here's a shot from our day trip to Vigan. We were jumping for joy and blocking the view of the Lumang Kampana (Old Belfry) in Vigan, Ilocus Sur.

I'm having so much fun here in Baguio as well, but I can't wait to come home and post all my photos. My friends and I all went trigger happy with our cameras, but then again, the best souvenirs we can bring home are our memories captured in photographs.

I am now officially 13 years old... plus 10! I'm so grateful to all the people who remembered my birthday. Thank you all! The kind words and greetings truly made my day.

This is how I know I have great friends: they didn't object when I lit my birthday candles.

"13"

Either I look it, act it, or they just cut me some slack since it was MY birthday after all.

Seriously though, my only wish is that God fills my life with even more wonderful people. The greetings, the gifts and the simple party were all a reminder that the past 23 years have been enriched by people who have stepped into my life. I feel so blessed that I actually want to hug the world, if that's at all possible!

Here's to a great 24th year of existence!

29th February 2008

It was more than just a "leap day", as some people call it. 

This day will be remembered as my last in this job I've had for over a year now.  As I said before, the season is over and I'm glad it ended with a bang.  Well, there weren't exactly fireworks, but it was indeed special.

I shed a few tears in the earlier hours of my last day at work.  The rest of the time, I just wanted to enjoy my final moments as an official employee and as a part of such a great team of recruiters and IT professionals.

Cheers to my fabulous officemates (ex-officemates now) for making it extra special.  I've never been so moved by the kind words they said to me personally, and for sure I know it wasn't just lip service.  It's been quite a ride; no doubt I'll miss the company. 

That's why I'll make it a point to keep in touch.  We're such a tight-knit group and without flinching, I can say I've established friendships to last me a lifetime.

Olsen and I have pretty much bonded in the two months that I've had him. FYI, I gave my dslr a name and decided to give it the male gender. I'm just weird that way.

I'm thrilled that I'm not the only one to get bitten by the photography bug. Many of my friends have now purchased (if not in the planning stages) their own cameras; now it's a hobby we can all pursue as a group.It's been years since I handled an SLR, which was the old school Nikon model that ran on film.

I've missed photography a great deal and it goes without saying that I've gotten pretty rusty. It's a challenge to relearn the discipline, but one that I'm sure I'll enjoy along the way.I'm starting to post only my favorites here.

I'm counting down the days.  Six working days to go since the 25th was just declared a non-working holiday.  I'm going to miss every bit about the job, most especially the people.  I'm going through mixed emotions because I DID enjoy this season of my life while it lasted and I'm more than grateful to the people I have shared this experience with.

But more than anything, I'm eager to move on, see what's out there and thrilled that I took this leap of faith is opening new doors for me.

Thanks to my awesome friend Cokie who took this photo of me.

I LOVE TO DANCE.

A lot of my friends, even my closest ones, have never seen this side of me. I strongly feel, however, that I'm at that point in my life where I am absolutely ready to make this part of me known. I was a little hesitant about pursuing this, and quite frankly, I take this path with much trepidation. The heart is stronger than the doubts, though, and that's why I'm diving into this head first. I was even more hyped up about it after having spoken to some of the Stylettos, the fabulous dance group I'll be joining. Since I have no professional dance background whatsoever, I know I'll have to work extra hard just to catch up with them. This goes without saying that I'll probably look a little silly during the first few practice sessions and I'll definitely need to up my efforts a notch higher. I'm all for it, though. This is something I want to do not just for myself, but to glorify God, and with this dance group, I'm absolutely sure I can do the latter. The Stylettos are a group of talented ladies, out to make it big in the industry, set apart by doing so through God-glorifying standards.

You can get to know more about them on their multiply site. Here's a photo I took of them during their most recent Mall Show.

I am wide awake at this hour despite having had a really tough mentally and emotionally exhausting day. I guess I'm just bothered. Being the people-pleaser that I am, I know I disappointed a number of people today and now I can't but hate myself for it.

Sometimes, I wish I were a cold, heartless b... witch. I wonder if they sleep better than I do because quite frankly, I haven't had decent shut-eye in weeks. This is all because I have been so afraid of having important people frown upon my decisions and recent course of actions.

So, I know there's nothing more annoying than a vague blog entry such as this, but I promise to elaborate when all this blows over. In the meantime, I must begin counting sheep.

This song by James Morrison was released some time back and I'd never given it time of day until now.  I'm looking at the lyrics in a whole new light, perhaps because it applies to me right now.So, for cheesiness' sake, here's the lyrics to the song I just can't get out of my head:

You Give Me Something
by James Morrison

You want to stay with me in the morning
You only hold me when I sleep,
I was meant to tread the water
Now I've gotten in too deep,
For every piece of me that wants you
Another piece backs away.'

Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart.

You already waited up for hours
Just to spend a little time alone with me,
And I can say I've never bought you flowers
I can't work out what the mean,
I never thought that I'd love someone,
That was someone else's dream.

Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart,
But it might me a second too late,

And the words I could never say
Gonna come out anyway.'

Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart.

Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart.

Know my heart, know my heart, know my heart

I'm gonna spend the next couple of days thinking about where I want to go, how I'd like to change, and what God has in store for me this year.  I certainly started it with a bang, having come from a long vacation from work and welcoming the new year with parties left and right.  I've come to realize, though, that that's not exactly how I'd like the rest of my year to turn out: loud, crazy and reckless!  I need to take things slow and be wiser about the decisions I will be making in the next few months.  I feel that this will be a pivotal year for me in almost every aspect of my life.

My career the past year started out relatively slow.  By God's grace, it picked up it's pace during the latter part of 2007 and I can only hope to keep the momentum going.  I'm done with a quarter of my life (unless I live up to 300, which I'm aiming for. kidding!), so I feel there's no better time than this.  Make hay while the sun shines!

I've also been meeting a lot of new people and hopefully making long-lasting friendships in the process.  Lately, certain individuals have entered my life and are making quite an impact.  If there's one thing I resolved to do this year, it's to enrich my life with more people.  I have admittedly been so guarded about establishing close ties with people I come across.  C.S. Lewis said it well: "We need others physically, emotionally, intellectually; we need them if we are to know anything, even ourselves." The Four Loves.

So, here's to hoping and praying the year has only blessings in store for us all!

My sister, Caelli and me jumping for joy at the stroke of midnight this New Year.

We know it's gonna be a good year; at least I do.  For some reason, I have a good feeling about this year.  I hope I'm right.  A woman's intuition is almost always accurate.  :)

Hope you all had a Happy Christmas and an even more enjoyable New Year!

-From the De Guzman home-

This is good fun! In line with the holiday season, my colleagues and I Elfed Ourselves.

Watch Ellaine, Neil, me and Lui jiggle, wiggle and shake to Jingle Bells!

Try it. Elf Yourself, too, and if you wanna put a smile on my face (or make me fall off my seat with laughter), send me your Elfed Selves links.

Advanced Merry Christmas to all!

I've just been reading about Coldplay's fourth album which is scheduled to be released sometime in 2008. Now that's definitely something for me to look forward to! After an unofficial album titled Castles was released in December 2006, I had been left wanting. Someone even commented that "it's just a bunch of b-sides. someone decided to put it together and make it a CD called 'castles'... they even gave it a cover..."

Now, while I think that's kind of harsh, I should be an honest critic even to a band I adore so much. For some reason, none of the songs from Castles had the same impact on me as songs like Fix You, Swallowed in the Sea or Yellow from previous GENIUS records. Hopefully, the 2008 album will showcase songs that could blow a listener away (kinda like the effect Fix You had on so many people when it was playing on the radio like 100 times a day. that's how powerful a track it was, and is). I read that the upcoming 42-minute CD will have a different sound and even contain a song Chris Martin had described as one "everybody should hear before we die." Now that is a bold statement to make and enough to wet the appetite of any fan.

I can't wait! And I will muster up every ounce of patience I have not to download the songs. Must... wait... for... the... ORIGINAL CD! *whew!*

Related stuff I've read online:

Washington Post
Reuters
ColdplayingDotCom

"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind."
~G.K. Chesterton

The whole of last week, I had been uncharacteristically morose. People around me noticed that something was troubling me. I myself would be the first to admit that I was preoccupied and bothered, so much so that I turned into a scatter-brain and was totally incapable of being my cheerful self.

Last week may have been one of the worst couple of days I've had in years. This was simply because I had gotten (or allowed myself to get) so caught up about my health. It was something I had taken for granted for the longest time. Now, I find myself faced with a direct threat to my total physical well-being and I can't but worry worry worry that I may never get my full health back completely.

I'd managed to live a healthy lifestyle thus far and am in fact surrounded by a family of doctors. Despite that, I'm not exempted from getting sick; no one is. There's only so much we can do to preserve our health anyway. At the same time, like every normal person, I want to be healthy, utterly and completely in the best physical shape at all times.

I guess I was just being too much of a worry wart last week. Some of these sicknesses just need to take their course; they eventually resolve themselves (at least we kinda hope they do). There's really no reason for me to get so caught up in worrying about it at the expense of my mental health.

And of course, I can always just cling to this promise and put my doubts to rest:
"...I am God your healer."
Exodus 15:27

As a result of the rally in Makati, a 12 midnight to 5:00 AM curfew was implemented this morning. My colleagues and I started worrying about our safety going home. I am just too peed off for words. It's unacceptable that this is happening and that our lives get so affected by it.

I had to cut my work day (or night) short and speed my way home for fear that I'd get apprehended for defying the curfew. Of course that was just my paranoia. I had every business being out at that hour due to my job, but I guess what scared me the most was the thought that checkpoints were inevitable on my way home. Though I know PNP checkpoints are assigned there for our own safety, oddly enough, it's when they are present that I feel even more threatened.

I'm glad I'm home safe. I hope this curfew thing doesn't become permanent. :(

This is somewhat of a late announcement, but watch out for my sister's TV debut on the Living Asia Channel's Gone for the Weekend show.

See the link to her website for the scheduled times.

www.noelledeguzman.com

I managed to tag along so you'll see me there, too.

I read this interesting post online. It was from Lee Warren's blog and in this specific post, he wrote about men's tendency to detach themselves from drama. Having read through its entirety, I couldn't but think about how I seem to posses that male characteristic:

"...they [men] don't want to deal with complicated, painful internal conflicts."

A person close to me once said, "Marielle, you're being a guy again," when I was insensitive about her need to just vent and for someone to sympathize. I think I reacted with a, "Let's get something to eat and forget about your problem!"

I realize that that's often how I react to the dramas of life. Instead of letting myself drown in sadness or confusion, I try as best I can to shake it off, feign happiness and distract myself.

Then again, Lee Warren ends his post saying,

"I have a hard time believing that anybody likes to live in a world of continual disengagement."

He's absolutely right. At the end of the day, problems are still there which turn into ghosts I eventually have to face. I just kind of prolong my agony and increase my risk of heart failure when I get old (God forbid!). Sooner or later, I will have to learn to GO THROUGH life's trials and perhaps talk and talk and cry and cry and get annoyingly emotional about them like any normal woman.